


Questions and Answers

by antivaisforlovers



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 07:36:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3438941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antivaisforlovers/pseuds/antivaisforlovers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen inquires about Avrae's time with the Dalish.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Questions and Answers

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to flesh out Avrae's backstory a bit, and it seemed more interesting to write it out, rather than turn it into a list of traits and beliefs.
> 
> And I think it goes without saying, but it case I'm wrong, the information and depictions of the Lavellan clan are my own personal headcanon.

“Inquisitor, may I ask you a question?”

Avrae looked up from her paperwork and across the war table at the commander. It was late in the evening, but there were too many reports to go over to retire to bed now. The only light they had came from the abundance of candles scattered across the table, and her head was starting to hurt from reading with so little light.

“Of course you can. I could use a break anyway.” She leaned back in her chair, rubbing her tired, strained eyes. “What’s on your mind?”

“Well I’ve noticed that… but I don’t know if this is too personal…” His hand moved to rub the back of his neck, his eyes looking everywhere except at her, and she bit her lip to hide a smile.

“Cullen it’s fine, just ask. If I don’t want to answer, I’ll let you know.”

He cleared his throat. “Very well. I’ve noticed, after spending some time around you, that you’re… not like other Dalish.” He finally met her eyes. “I mean no disrespect by that, of course, but in my own personal experience the Dalish are generally not overly… _fond_ of humans. At all. But you,” he said as he leaned forward, elbows resting on the table, “You aren’t like that at all.”

She looked at him, unsure of how to answer. “No,” she responded slowly. “No, I suppose I’m not.”

Cullen sensed her unease, instantly regretting having said anything. “Inquisitor, please forgive me. I shouldn’t be so forward.” Face red, he shuffled some papers around, desperately trying to avoid further conversation on the matter.

She waved her hand dismissively, giving him a reassuring half-smile. “I’m not offended, Cullen. Your observation… isn’t wrong, I’m just not used to being asked about it. Is there something you wanted to know?” When he hesitated, she leaned forward and smiled playfully at him. “Come on. Ask me anything.”

He smiled back at her, once again thankful for her easy-going nature. “I suppose I don’t have a specific topic in mind. I’m just curious about you. As I said, you seem much different than others I’ve come into contact with. So… what was your time with your clan like?”

She watched him as she gathered her thoughts, chewing her bottom lip, mulling over how she should explain her past. “I can’t summarize everything in a few sentences. This could get lengthy.” When he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, warm amber eyes fixed on her, she nodded. “Alright then. Let’s see...”

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she began. “I won’t go as far as to say I was an outcast in my clan. I got along well enough with everyone, but I had very few friends, and I was alone more often than not. That suited me just fine though. I liked spending time wandering around the forest. Even from an early age, my views never really lined up with theirs. Our Keeper, and thus the rest of the clan, did not trust humans and avoided them at all costs. I, on the other hand, was fascinated by them, wanted to learn everything I could about them. I never believed that they were as terrible as the Keeper made them out to be.”

“I can’t imagine that went over well.”

She shook her head, chuckling quietly. “It did not. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I was scolded for running off when travelers were near us. I just wanted to watch them.” She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “Eventually I became the Keeper’s First. I’m not sure why. I’ve always been very skilled with my magic, but I was so impulsive and so… opposite of what a Keeper should be. Maybe she thought if I had that kind of responsibility I’d forget about my decidedly ‘un-Dalish’ fascination. Or maybe learn that I had been wrong. But that didn’t happen. All becoming First did was isolate me even more from the clan. I spent all of my time with the Keeper, learning everything there is to know about our people. I didn’t want it, but it was my duty, so I was going to see it through without complaint.”

Avrae sighed and looked at her knees. “Honestly, I’ve never bought into the ‘Dalish superiority’ mindset. What makes us better than anyone else? No one could ever really answer that for me. My only knowledge of the outside world came from what I was told by other Dalish. I didn’t want to stay segregated from the rest of the world. I wanted to travel and meet new people, see and experience and learn new things. So when my Keeper decided that I was to go to the Conclave, I was absolutely ecstatic.” She smiled wistfully at the memory, then looked up at Cullen and grinned. “Obviously that didn’t go… quite as I expected it would.”

He chuckled as she continued. “I would be lying if I said I’ve been having the time of my life, of course, but even with all of the the demons, and corrupt templars, and non-stop fighting, and the ancient Tevinter magister who is dead set on destroying everything…” She shrugged. “I’d rather be here than back with my clan.”

That surprised him. “You don’t want to be with your clan? What about when all of this is over? I mean… they are your family, after all.” He hoped the faint tone of hopeful desperation that made it’s way into his voice wasn’t too obvious. He didn’t want her to leave. He wasn’t ready to admit what that feeling implied, but he knew he wanted her to stay.

She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “No, they’re not really. I didn’t belong before, and I certainly don’t now.” She smiled at him, then started to sort the papers scattered across the table into neat piles. “With the Inquisition I’ve met all kinds of people, traveled to incredible places, made wonderful friendships. The Inquisition is my home now, and the people here my family. I wouldn’t give that up for anything.”

As she gathered the papers in her arms, Cullen stood and extinguished the candles on the table, leaving the room illuminated only by the small sconces on either side of the large door. They made their way silently through Josephine’s study, side by side. When they reached the main hall, Cullen turned to her before they went their separate ways and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “If I may be so bold, Inquisitor, it pleases me greatly that you don’t wish to leave us. I hope I may be counted among the reasons for you wanting to stay.”

She looked up at him with a warm smile and placed her hand over his, which was still resting on her shoulder. “And if _I_ may be so bold, Cullen, you’re one of the main reasons I wish to stay.” She squeezed his hand, then turned to make her way to her quarters, leaving a surprised and utterly smitten commander to watch her walk away, a slow, lopsided grin of relief spreading across his face.


End file.
